Oh My
by tigertales
Summary: Ever had an "Oh My" moment? A moment when you looked around and simply said, "Oh my Gawd!" MM/HG femslash. Don't like? Then please do not read.


**AN: Have you ever had a lost weekend? An "Oh Gawd" moment? If you have, well this one's for you...**

**OH MY...**

It was the day after graduation at Hogwarts and the scene in the Gryfindor common room looked like a cross between Hagrid's hut, the boy's locker room and a mountain troll's lair. Balloons of red and gold flitted haphazardly about the room. Some trailing various objects from their strings. A woman's size 38D bra for one. It's owner, probably buried beneath the piles of confetti and flotsam littering the floor. Ribbons and twizzles dripped from every object, including a few disgruntled portraits.

The sofa in front of the fireplace held no less than five Gryfindors.

Seamus Finnegan, lay sprawled at one end. His mouth hanging open, a line of drool dangling off the end of his lower lip.

Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown lay entangled in the center. It was hard to tell who's hands belonged to whom or whether the baggy "Chudley Cannons" t-shirt actually belonged to the buxom, blonde Gryfindor or she was just borrowing it. The shirtless Weasley lay with a self-satisfied grin on his sleeping face. That expression was sure to disappear once he realized someone had painted one nipple green and the other silver, with a yellow smiley face in between.

At the far end of the sofa lay Dean Thomas. The young wizard was producing a sound that was a cross between a hoot and a snore. One might call that sound a "snoot". A suspicious green and silver stain marred the young man's long dark fingers.

The fifth Gryfindor, a male, as yet unidentified due to the enormous lamp shade on his head, snored peacefully on Dean's lap.

The Patil twins curled themselves quite elegantly in a nearby chair. The scene would've been quite becoming if not for the house-elf snoring between them.

Other assorted Gryfindor's, two Huffelpuffs and a single Ravenclaw decorated the floor in various states of dishabille. The Ravenclaw being Luna Lovegood. The young, blonde witch was inexplicably intertwined with Neville Longbottom. Some sort of tendrilled plant tying their hands and wrists together. A bottle of firewhiskey snuggled quite nicely between Longbottom's legs.

Upstairs, the scene was similar... dormatories littered with empty bottles, articles of clothing and drunken students.

It was debauchery defined.

Filius Flitwick and Pomona Sprout stood in the doorway of the common room totally thunderstruck.

"Oh my gawd!" Sprout mumbled. Flitwick nodded, speechless. He really didn't want to say anything, having lost his voice in the teacher's lounge last night screaming encouragement to Poppy Pomfrey as she arm wrestled Irma Pince. The medi-witch easily won. Beating the skinny librarian into a disenchanted slouch.

The diminutive charms professor felt the chubby fingers of the herbology professor on the back of his neck.

"Where is Minerva?"

Shrugging, both professors decided to leave this mess to the Headmistress... wherever she was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minerva McGonagall woke with a sudden intake of breath.

She felt a wee bit hung over and slightly disoriented. Carefully, she took a look around at her surroundings trying to figure out just where the bloody hell she was.

It was still very early in the morning. The sun had yet to rise. She squinted slightly, peering into the darkness and came to a startling conclusion.

This was NOT her bedroom.

This was NOT her bed.

She tried to concentrate, but her memory was a bit fuzzy. All she remembered was glass after glass of the most delicious punch, then seeing someone's brassiere float by on a golden balloon. Everything beyond that was just bits and pieces. A flash of feeling sweet tender lips on her own came to mind.

She thought if she just managed to get out from under whatever was pinning her to the bed, maybe she could think clearly.

Another startling revelation...

Someone was lying on top of her.

McGonagall froze as that sobering reality made it's way through her addled brain. Very gingerly, she ran her nimble, elegant fingers over the soft arm that was lying rather possessively across her hips, the hand attached to that arm coming perilously close to intimate territory. A long, silky smooth leg tangled itself with her own. Generous, rounded breasts pressed quite nicely against her belly; informing the startled professor that both she and her bedmate were completely naked.

_'MerlinMerlinMerlinMerlin Oh Merlin! What have I done? WHO have I done it with????'_

The older witch was dumbstruck with horrified embarrassment. She lowered her gaze to the bushy, chestnut curls splayed so beautifully across her breasts, tickling the tender flesh.

Her nipples hardened at the feeling.

_'None of that!'_ She scolded herself.

The body on top of her chose that moment to let out a satisfied moan, "MMMmmminnnnerva."

McGonagall quickly saw that the lovely body draped across her own was none other than nineteen year old Hermione Granger. They were in the Head Girl's quarters.

"Oh my." The older witch whispered as she identified the pleasant stickiness between her thighs and an unmistakable musky odor assaulted not only her nose but her other senses as well. These clues led her to understand that she and the lovely young Granger had done a bit more than just sleep in this warm, comfortable bed...

"Oh my."

McGonagall's bed partner then opened two warm, chocolate brown eyes. Those beautiful eyes held the intense gaze of the stunning emerald orbs of the Headmistress for a long, intimate moment. And then, slowly leaned up and placed a tender kiss on the lips of her professor. Minerva couldn't help but respond. The kiss was soft, yet deceptively arousing.

"Good morning." The young witch purred, snuggling her face into her lover's neck.

McGonagall swallowed convulsively as she felt sweet, butterfly kisses being pressed to her pulse point. "GGGood mmmorning Miss Granger... Er Hermione.." She stuttered, feeling gentle nips on her ear. She shuddered at the very arousing sensation as she felt Hermione's questing fingers stoking the softness of her belly. Making circular patterns and heading lower.

Much lower.

"Her..Hermione!" Minerva squeaked as she felt nimble fingers tangle in the soft ebony curls at the apex of her thighs.

The younger witch fastened her compelling dark eyes on the lovely face of her mentor and now, lover, "Yes?"

Minerva felt herself falling under the spell of Hermione's magical eyes. The cheshire cat grin made an appearance and the older witch felt her resolve melting into a pool of arousal. "Oh my."

Grinning Hermione Granger traced a single finger over Minerva's cleft, sniggering as all her mentor could think to say was, "Oh my."

Minerva McGonagall was completely baffled, gob-smacked and done for. She shook her head to clear the stupor she found herself under and said, "I was wondering..."

Her young lover paused in her caressing and responded with a sultry, "Yes?"

The older witch was embarrassed as she asked, "Do you have any idea how we ended up in bed together?" Minerva frowned and continued, "Lovely as all this is, I haven't the slightest idea how you managed to entice me here."

Hermione began to giggle.

Raising a quizzical brow, the professor stated, "I fail to see what is so bloody amusing!"

Hermione placed another soothing kiss upon Minerva's lips, smiling as she felt her mentor respond. "**YOU** enticed me professor."

"WHAT???"

Hermione chuckled at her professor's obvious befuddlement, then she smiled and said, "That's right. You teased me up here."

"I don't remember." There was deep embarrassment liberally lacing the older witch's voice. Hermione's silky skin felt so wonderful pressed up against her own, but she couldn't remember anything about what led them to their current predicament.

The younger witch frowned and pressed her hand to Minerva's forehead, "Are you feeling alright Love?"

Frustrated and appalled at her behavior, the professor slowly disentangled herself from the puzzled younger witch. Sitting up in the bed, she moved to the edge. There on the floor, at the end of the bed, lay her robes. Well, the inner one anyway. Only Merlin knew where her outer robe might be. Reaching down and grabbing the garment, she pulled it over her body. Once decently covered, she turned to face the young witch.

Hermione lay on the bed in all of her glorious, luscious nakedness. There was a sly, yet seductive look lingering in her expressive dark eyes. "Minerva?" She queried, wondering why her lover was so uneasy. The older witch had been all over her last night.

McGonagall took a deep breath and tore her eyes away from the wonderous form that was young Miss Granger. She knew if she continued to stare, all the young witch would have to do was crook her finger and she would jump back into bed with her. That in itself just wasn't right. At least in her mind. She'd never, ever bedded a student! She shook her head abruptly and whirled around, away from the young witch.

Sensing Minerva's distress, Hermione rose and reached for her bathrobe. "What's wrong?"

The older witch ran a trembling hand through her tangled, ebony tresses saying, "Don't you think there's something a wee bit odd about this situation? I mean, after all... I'm your teacher!"

Hermione frowned and placed her hands on her hips. "Former teacher," She corrected, then added, "That didn't seem to bother you last night."

Minerva spun angrily, "That's the point. I wasn't myself. I would never..." She trailed off, watching as the young witch's happy countenance crumbled. She didn't want to hurt Hermione. She loved her. _'Wait.. I do_ _love her. But I never... She wasn't supposed to know that..'_ The older witch's thoughts whirled through her mind. A maelstrom of conflicted emotions.

She did indeed love Hermione Granger. She just never imagined, even in her wildest dreams, that anything would ever come of it. But here she was, with the woman of her fantasies and yet... Something wasn't quite right. There was a fuzzy image at the edge of her memory.

Last night. The common room.

Revelry and mayhem.

Potter and Weasley with a suspicious black bottle standing by the punch bowl.

**THE PUNCH!!!**

Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was peeved. She nodded at the younger witch and said, "Come with me. Something isn't quite right about this situation."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry Potter woke to someone viciously shaking him.

"Get up Potter!"

He recognized the imperious tones of his former Transfiguration teacher. Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he opened his eyes to the blurry outline of Minerva McGonagall. Hermione was standing just behind her. Reaching over to the nightstand, he grabbed his glasses; knocking over a small black bottle in the process. Before it could hit the floor, it was snatched up by the older witch.

McGonagall gazed at the bottle. Fury raging, her emerald eyes narrowed to cat-like slits. "This!" She raged, completely loosing her temper. The thunder in her voice abruptly woke the lump under the blankets next to Harry.

Ginny Weasley sat up. The sheets dropping to reveal her generous Prewitt breasts in all their proud glory.

"Wow Ginny, I'm impressed." Hermione blurted, earning a withering stare from her lover.

The youngest Weasley blinked in confusion at her best mate and mumbled, "Whut?"

Harry cleared his throat in embarrassment and pulled the sheet over his girlfriend's chest. A black object rolled out of the sheets and onto the floor...

McGonagall's hat.

"What the bloody hell are you doing with MY HAT???" The Headmistress rumbled placing the smallish bottle in the pocket of her inner robe.

The two people on the bed turned interesting shades of pink.

McGonagall held the hat away from her body with just her thumb and index finger. Her face scrunched in disgust. "Never mind. I don't want to know." Another thought hit her. Frowning, she leaned towards the young lovers and demanded, "Where are my robes?"

"Soaking in the tub." Was Ginny's whispered response as she ducked her head.

At the professor's inquiring expression, Harry mumbled, "To get the stains out."

Enraged McGonagall whipped out her wand, "I am so going to kill..." A smaller hand on her's reminded her of Hermione's presence. She took a deep breath and put her wand away. There was a tender look on her face as she gazed at Hermione causing the two lovers on the bed to exchange a knowing look.

Ginny Weasley figured out the situation first. Grinning madly, she looked at her best friend. Hermione's eyes glowed with an inner light. Shifting to McGonagall, the young Weasley saw a twinkle in the older witch's sparkling eyes. "Uh huh." She whispered with a mischievious smirk. "Don't worry, I'll make sure your robe is returned to your quarters cleaned and polished."

McGonagall looked down at her inner robe, then back up at Harry and Ginny. "I can't go traipsing around the castle in just this..." Her inner robe was a bit more form fitting. Quite sexy actually. At least in Hermione's opinion. Definately not something she wanted anyone to see her in. Present company accepted.

Hermione walked over to the nearest wardrobe. Neville's, it turned out, judging by the plants growing beside it and the photo of Luna Lovegood tacked inside the door. She reached in and pulled out a leather trench coat. "Here put this on."

Minerva took the black overcoat from Hermione's outstretched hand and slipped it on. She fastened her gaze on the young witch with a raised eyebrow.

Smiling, the younger woman said, "Quite fetching I'd say."

"You look like a secret agent." Came a response from Harry Potter. He wrapped an arm around Ginny and grinned, saying to his professor, "Are you mad at me?"

McGonagall narrowed her gaze and reached into the pocket of her inner robe and fished out the tiny bottle. Holding it up, she asked, "Are you responsible for this?"

The young people in the bed nodded sheepishly. Ginny spoke quietly, "George said it would liven things up a bit."

Hermione reached over on took the bottle from the older witch. Examining it closely, she asked, "What is this?"

Running a frustrated hand through her mussed ebony tresses, McGonagall replied sadly, "It's the reason you and I ended up in bed together." With that, she snatched the bottle from Hermione's hand and stormed out of the room.

"You and McGonagall? In bed together?" Harry Potter wheezed between surprised gasps.

Ginny giggled madly, "WooooHoooo! You go girl! Was she any good?" Her blue eyes glinted with mischief.

Hermione frowned unsure what had just happened. Ignoring her friend's invasive question, she asked, "What was in that bottle?"

Harry grinned as Ginny replied with a smile, "It's called "Much More". George makes it. He sells it in the shop." She noticed the puzzled expression on Hermione's face, so she added, "It's an enhancement potion."

Hermione scratched her nose as her brain began to process what Ginny had just told her. Chocolate eyes focused on crystal blue as she asked, "Just exactly what does it do?" She had a suspicion, but she needed Ginny to confirm it.

Ginny saw that Hermione was thinking that what happened between the professor and herself wasn't real. She needed to quell that thought. Sighing, she said, "All it does is enhance feelings you already have. It doesn't make you do anything you don't want to do. OK?"

Harry pulled Ginny against him and quipped, "It just loosens you up a bit. Lowers inhibitions and such."

The smile that made it's way across Hermione's face was enough to brighten the entire room. "So everything that happened last night was real?"

Ginny grinned, "Everything!"

_'Minerva must think that I was induced!'_ Hermione thought as she bolted out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minerva McGonagall stormed into the hospital wing looking for Poppy. There were several students occupying beds as well as Rolanda Hooch. Apparently the flying instructor had attended the more "sedate" Ravenclaw graduation party last night. It was so "sedate" that after the party, Hooch had drunkenly climbed onto her broom and promptly flew into the rear end of a passing thestral; crashing in the wood near the edge of the forbidden forest and breaking her leg. Hagrid had carried the drunken witch into the hospital wing while joining her in singing "Dancing Queen" totally off key.

McGonagall rolled her eyes at her close friend's exploits. She wondered, not for the first time mind you, how she managed to end up running this bloody circus. She looked around for the Medi-witch without much luck. She noticed that one of the students, Draco Malfoy, was awake. Gliding over to his bed, she realized that he was lying on his stomach. "Mr. Malfoy?" She queried trying to keep her voice down.

The young Slytherin looked up in surprise and promptly blushed deep red, "Yes Professor?" He fervently hoped the Headmistress would not ask him about the mysterious object tenting the blankets where his rear end was supposed to be.

No such luck.

"What happened to you?"

The blonde wizard dropped his head into his pillow and moaned miserably.

Alarmed, Minerva thought he was in pain, so she stepped closer and pulled the blanket aside to see if she could offer aid to the obviously ailing young man. She was definately not prepared for what she saw.

There was a firewhiskey bottle stuck in Malfoy's naked backside.

McGonagall's cheeks flamed as she abruptly pulled the blanket back to it's original position. "Er.. sorry, uh.. um.. What happened?" She asked almost timidly. She was feeling the heat from her blush all the way to her toes.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Came a screech from the office.

Minerva looked up to see Poppy standing outside her office with her hands balled into fists. A stormy look on the usually jovial face.

Helpless, Minerva shrugged, "I thought he was in pain. He moaned, so I went to see if I could help."

Poppy marched over to Malfoy's bed saying, "He moaned out of embarrassment." She noticed the young wizard was eyeing McGonagall oddly.

"You look like Emma Peel in that jacket." The Medi-witch stated eyeing Minerva up and down. She was referring to one of the coolest witches ever to graduate Hogwarts. The amazing Diana Rigg. Frowning, Poppy leaned in and whispered, "Where are your robes?"

Minerva snorted in disgust and replied, "Soaking in Harry Potter's bath tub."

"HUH???"

McGonagall ran a frustrated hand through her still mussed hair and growled, "Never mind." She shot a glare at Malfoy as a suspicious sounding giggle came from that area. Nodding her head in his direction, she asked, "How did he manage a whiskey bottle in his arse?"

Poppy motioned the Headmistress to follow her to her office. Sitting at her desk, Madam Pomfrey sighed, "Apparently Malfoy got into some enhancement potion at a party last night. He was found by Pansy Parkinson engaging in uh..." The medi-witch blushed slightly and continued, "a sexual liason with Gregory Goyle. Miss Parkinson, in a fit of rage, grabbed the nearest object and promptly rammed it up his arse." She frowned as she saw a ghost of a smile make it's way across McGonagall's face. "Oh Minerva, it's not funny dammit!"

By this time, the Headmistress' shoulders were shaking with glee. She kept a hand over her mouth because she didn't want Malfoy thinking she was laughing at him. Even though she was. A sobering thought abruptly ended Minerva's snickers, "Did you say an enhancement potion?"

Poppy nodded, a look of curiosity on her wizened face.

Minerva fished the black bottle out of her inner robe pocket. Holding it up, she asked, "Something like this?"

Poppy's eyes widened as she gazed at the bottle in McGonagall's hand, "Where did you get that?" She took it from her friend and examined it curiously.

A noise at the office door caused both witches to look up.

Hermione Granger stood there, still in her robe, rubbing her hands together in worry. "It's called "Much More". Harry and Ginny put it in the punch last night. Ginny said George brewed it." She took a step forward and continued, "Ginny said that it doesn't compel. It enhances feelings that are already present."

Poppy nodded her understanding, "Ah, it only multiplies feelings you already have. It wouldn't cause you to kill or anything you wouldn't normally do."

Minerva was looking at Hermione with an intense expression, "Would it cause you to sleep with someone?"

Hermione held her breath.

Madam Pomfrey could tell something was going on between the two witches. She reached for her glasses and read the label on the bottle. Shaking her head, she replied, "No. It would loosen you up a bit, but it wouldn't make you do that." She paused, then added with a secret smile, "If anything like that happened, it happened because you wanted it to." She had fastened her eyes on the Headmistress as she said that last bit.

Minerva McGonagall was deathly still. She gazed into the chocolate eyes of her... future?

Hermione gazed back. Falling into the intense emerald stare. She stepped up to Minerva and placed a hand on her arm, "I didn't drink any punch. I was drinking pumpkin juice."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minerva McGonagall woke with a sudden intake of breath.

She gazed at the familiar surroundings of her bedroom and smiled in content. This is how it was supposed to be.

"Min?"

A sleepy voice sounded in her ear. Drawing her attention to the sweet, lovely woman beside her. The woman she loved with all her heart. Wrapping her arms around her love, she pulled her close and whispered tenderly, "Go back to sleep my love."

Hermione Granger placed a gentle kiss on her lover's lips, then snuggled deeper into Minerva's embrace and fell asleep once more.

Minerva gazed in adoration at the treasure in her arms and softly said, "Oh my."

THE END

**AN: Who agrees that the amazing and delightful Diana Rigg might very well have graduated from our favorite school? She's certainly enchanting enough. Don't know who she is? (I slap my forehead yelling, "Oy!") Google her. See if you can find any old episodes of "The Avengers". Stunning. Absolutely stunning. **

** ;D**


End file.
